“How Can I Help My Partner?” Pt. 1
“My partner is unable to have her Doula present due to new Covid Restrictions… how can I help her?”
A rising dilemma for the non-birthing parent due to the current situation with Covid-19 is “My partner is unable to have her Doula present due to new Covid Restrictions… how can I help her?” Covid-19 has made an already laborious process even more difficult with new hospital restrictions and limitations — forcing us to be more selective with who we’d like by our side. This can lead to situations where your Doula cannot be present, whether it's due to hospital restrictions or a personal choice to limit your exposure. Whatever the case may be, here are some valuable tips to ease the stress off yourself as well as your partner, in order to have the most comfortable labour possible.
Keep Contact Information Handy
Have contact numbers for Midwives/OB and hospital readily available; labour can sometimes progress quickly so it's handy to have this information in an easy-to-find place instead of having to ask your spouse while she's in between contractions. Additionally, by helping pack the hospital bag for baby, mama and yourself can help relieve them of some stress.
Take a Prenatal Class
A prenatal class taught by a Doula can be very helpful. You will go over things like pain-relieving positions, breathwork, massage techniques, and recovery tips.
Here are some prenatal classes taught by some lovely Doulas
Counter Pressure + Double Hip Squeezes
If you were to take away anything from this blog, it would be this.
Counter pressure involves applying a steady amount of pressure on specific points of the body. The Double Hip Squeeze is a wonderful example of a counter pressure technique used to help lessen the pain of contractions.
To do this:
Have your partner lean forward in a comfortable position — on all fours or over a birthing ball. Find your partners hip bones and begin by gently but firmly pressing down towards the ground and forward towards your partner's shoulders. Communication is key with this technique as some mamas prefer lighter pressure. Time the squeezes with contractions and hold the squeeze for the duration of the contraction for maximum pain relief.
Other counter pressure techniques involve pressing a small fine-tooth comb inside the palm or pressing a clean tennis ball on the lower back.
How To Double Hip Squeeze Video
Positive Encouragement
Imagine running a marathon and you're almost at the finish line but you don't think you'll make it. You see the love of your life around the corner and suddenly you feel a burst of energy. Your encouragement and kind words while labouring can make a world of difference. Tell her how great she's doing. Tell her she’s almost there.
Take Photos
Labour and Birth are miraculous. If your partner is comfortable with it, snap a few photos to capture the moment. After the baby arrives, we often forget about the journey. Photos (or videos) are a wonderful way to capture these fleeting moments.
Breathing and Relaxation
Deep breathing techniques such as the Pranayama Technique or deep belly breathing can be invaluable during labour. Long and deep breaths are encouraged as it instills a feeling of calm and helps activate our Parasympathetic Nervous System (responsible for rest and relaxation not fight or flight). Practice these breathing techniques before labour so they become second nature on game day.
Remind her to PEE!
Emptying your bladder is an important step during the Latent, Active, and Transition stages of labour. Remind your partner to pee approximately every hour if possible. A full bladder can make it difficult for the baby to get into the proper position and possibly make contractions feel stronger.
Be patient
Babies have a timeline of their own. Sometimes the best thing to do is to be patient. During the early stages of labour, encourage your partner to watch a movie, take a nap, or work on a hobby. Keep yourselves occupied, babies like to come when you're busy:)
Help her switch positions
Labouring on your back can sometimes be uncomfortable and can actually slow down the progression of labour. These out of bed positions can help with pain management and help speed things up.
Cuddle
Oxytocin, aka the love hormone, eases pain, reduces stress, and helps with the progression of labour. Cuddle in bed for as long you comfortably can. Kisses help too ♥️
Warm and Cool compress
Labour can make you hot and sweaty but it can also make you cold and give you the chills. Having a multi-use gel pack that can be either microwaved, ran under cold water, or thrown in the freezer is extremely helpful. It can be wrapped in a towel and applied to mama wherever she desires — Lower back, forehead, back of the neck are common places. Having a pocket fan… Also a great idea :)
Control the Environment
Dim the lights, play music she enjoys, bring a diffuser if you can. Limit the number of people entering and leaving the room as this can disrupt the progression of labour.
Hire a Virtual Doula
While your city may not allow doulas to attend the birth of your child, hiring a doula early on in the pregnancy can serve as an important resource for you and your partner -- A Virtual Doula can go into more depth about the steps mentioned above, helping you properly prepare for your little one. If cost is also a factor, many doulas offer sliding scale fees. You can also contact your local doula association to get on the list for a volunteer doula.
Doula Association Of BC Referral Program
South Community Birth Program
